Unexplainable

I can't find the words to explain
to describe
or provide
an explanation
a justification
I can't.
But baby you do something to me
so sweet
so sour
got me wanting to devour you whole
got me lusting your soul
like a bitter taste
on the back of my tongue
but I keep sipping from this vial
this thing's so foul
but the stench ain't vile, it's subtle
an energy or a feeling
so magnetic
like polar opposites
attracted
got me all distracted
and in fact
I'm infatuated
can't leave him alone
it's unexplainable
in love with a man who has a home
with a bed
laced with sheets
that don't carry my smell
don't carry my aura
they say I'm going to Hell
but if there was such a place
my soul would eternally reside
would the flames burn the desire
for what he provides?
would the craving subside?
Can't find the words to explain it
unintentional, unconventional
so reluctant to abstain from it
They say that I'm wrong
but it feels so right
though he lays with another
when he closes his eyes at night.
I try to justify it
convinced my mind to push back
these feelings knowing their unsustainable
adulterous lies I condone
and it's so unexplainable.
The touch
the feel
the connection's so strong
so how can they convince me
that what I'm doing is wrong
that what I've done ain't right
I've indulged for the wrong reasons
the deceit, the treason
nights alone
body's freezing.
It's unexplainable
can't find the words to describe
or provide
and explanation
a justification
I can't....

Hatshepsut Amun Re

Living In Hell

This world ain't all what's it's cracked up to be
bills stacked up 'til I can't see.
And the pavement spills blood like the sea,
the good die young, perish by threes.
See, they told me when I was young about a fiery lake
of burning sulfur
for the vile and vulgar
weeping eyes and gnashing teeth
where the soul dies long after bodies eternally sleep.
But I have seen!
I have seen the results of a burning soul,
a man dragged through hell 'til he ain't whole
and my eyes wept right here where I dwell,
so you can't tell me we ain't living in Hell!
The block is hot and the streets are flaming
bullets are flying, and the hands aren't aiming
so babies are dying, and father's are killed
and we don't give a damn about the blood that's spilled
the holes that get filled with decomposing bodies
disembodied flesh
everything's complexed
and we bomb the cities nevermind the mothers
rape the sisters and kill our own brothers.
Our daughters are growing got child bearing hips
that seduce the pedophile, drool fall from his lips.
And the devil? He walks around with the bible and a cross
giving his falsehood a moral gloss
and he don't blink, stop to think, or falter
when he decides to rape boys on an altar.
God is good! He is indeed!
But we so blind and don't take heed
Plead for mercy so much that I can't tell
that this world Im in is synonymous to Hell.
Can't get any worse
The killings, the upheavals
got me convinced that everyone is evil.
They all are demons
army of the commander
they slander and lie
causing mother's to cry.
But they tell me its a place worst than this
where the flames burn high
and souls repeatedly die
but how can I believe God can be so cruel
to put me in this world full of wicked souls and the malicious
only to throw me in Hell, is God this vicious?
I'm not so sure but I can't tell
can't convince me we ain't living in Hell.

Hatshepsut Amun Re