They told me love was pain, well maybe that explains…
Explains the wounds yet to be seen, when your weapon is in plain sight
But I don’t fight or attempt to defend I just follow the path hoping it doesn’t lead to a dead end, and I’d spend every dollar and every second of my life, rebuilding something love destroyed so we could live as man and wife
They said love was pain, and Im hurting to the bone, it’s like your presence comes to haunt me in the guise of your cologne and the unknown is more than frightening and most times Im unsure because you leave my mind wondering while Im staring at the phone
And I gave you my heart long before you even asked, yet the picture isn’t clear, at times you seem so cavalier, yet if the war is waged against us know Im facing the combat zone, sharpened my sword before I left just recognize that I cant fight this war alone.
Im addicted to the endorphins that this pain from love produces, and my friends they ask me why, so I give them lame excuses, and I admit sometimes I wanted to step down but the fight in me refuses, cuz the war just cant be won if I cant bear the bumps and bruises
A war that my heart chooses like Daniel faced the lions, and just because love is pain doesn’t mean that love’s prone to lying, and if I end up dying let my death not go in vain,
Although I should have seen it coming, shit they told me love was pain.
And if we part like the Red Sea, and let the people walk between us, could we endure the clock’s ticking and let time wean us like a child from the breast, lost like a man at sea hurt from thoughts that went repressed, or fate that just won’t let us be
Cuz I see me and I see you, but is this vision real cuz I was open with my heart and not one detail did I conceal, yes I reveal to you my everything hoping my heart doesn’t strain
And if it does then I’ll still be standing here, they told me love was pain.
The CIA is watching me sending currents thru my mind
Undefined my meaning, screening everything I do from what I watch to what I chew
And the Manchurian candidate was sitting in the front pew, he’s in the market where I shop, things in my home have been swapped
I’ve waken up in cold sweats from dreams of people crying over a coffin, but the face they wont reveal, I swear this vision felt so real.
And I keep seeing the same faces, when I travel different places. Cant tell the ones I love the most, they laugh as if this is a hoax.
And Tupac came to me and told me death was just right up the street, but I cant help but feel as though my mission’s incomplete
Im paranoid and its taken my life…interrupts my sleep
I cant help but think about the nights intoxicated, and I should have been praying
Thinking I should circumnavigate, so the world can hear what I am saying
My mind has long left me and Im wondering who stole it, my soul is rebelling against me and Im wondering if I sold it. Trying to figure out when I leave was I loyal to this deen, who is going to teach my children the siratul mustaqeem. Im raising freedom fighters, will they avenge my death? Use the right to fight the left, speak the truth with every breath. Cuz if the magic bullet hits them too, then who will wake the masses, who will be the savior for all the lower classes? Gases seeping in my home and I can taste it in the water. So I embed Angela Davis inside the minds of my daughters. Got to raise these Malcolm X’s and these Sojourner Truths before they catch me while Im distracted sort of like Lincoln and John Booth.
And if he gets me, know he didn’t act alone, I saw a girl who looked just like me wondering if she is a clone, because I came from surgery on my stomach left with scars on my back and I feel like something’s missing, was my womb left intact?
They say I suffer from anxiety, keep looking at the clock, I found my door wide open when I know I left it locked, its like they’re leaving me their hints, want to see me in the state of shock. Keep seeing the shooter in my dreams on the day Kennedy was shot.
I swear the men in black are real stealing memories with a flash, and they hold those secret meetings and bear the symbols on my cash, and someone broke into my thoughts, but thank God Im conscious even in my dreams, and the angels protect me thanx to Ar-Rahmaanir Ar-Rahim
Im coming down with a cold but they offered me a vaccine, and they don’t want me dead or alive just somewhere in between
Yes Im paranoid so I stay in the shadows, I move behind the scene. And they think that they can hold me back, think I wont intervene. Im looking twice behind my back to better analyze the delusions, probing all of the illusions, until I reach my life’s conclusion fitting the pieces and reflecting on the void, because Im way too young to be this paranoid.
