Fourteen

Crumbled dollars from my pockets on the counter hand flattened straight,...
my period is late
and my Momma can't pay the bills.
They got dreams of me, fourteen
being a Scholar or Olympic Honor...
I maybe carrying one, but her eyes will never see the Sun
I'm fourteen, and my sister is already feeling the wrath
a path she chose, and as the months pass she can no longer fit her clothes
But that ain't me, no I gotta take a trip to the doctor
Sick to my stomach, but all is good
acting so well I deserve an Oscar
Parents asking where I been and I can't tell the truth.
Been laying on steel tables so I don't have to give up my youth.
And the tears never stopped falling but he told me to do it
But it was my choice never thought that I would be the one going thru it
And the light is shining so bright but all I can see is her face
and nobody understands, they keep telling me to have faith
I'm fourteen!!! And I can feel the flutters in my stomach
Walking hesitantly to the back what Im about to do I can't stomach
But the devil is in my ear telling me its for my own good.
Trophy child, turned another statistic in the hood.
And I can feel the life within me being ripped from my womb
Trying to be grown up experiencing life too soon.
I'm fourteen, but I gotta mask it so they don't know
Gotta annihilate the life inside my womb trying to grow!
Traveled here on my own and no reconcile ever since
And they wonder why my grades declined like its some type of suspense
I'm 14, so they think I'm just going thru a phase
They don't know I'm in the dark tryna see thru the haze
They don't know I'm lost tryna find my way thru the maze
I'm fourteen, and the doctor said he won't tell
but the voices in my head scream louder than my Momma could ever yell
But how was I supposed to know the scars would run deeper than the ones I can see with my eyes
Nobody told me that when I sleep I'd be haunted by her eyes
Nobody told me that the price would be more than what I spent
If I had known I would of taken back every red cent!
Im fourteen! And I cant be taking care of a child
I can't buy diapers and wipes I ain't got no job!
I can't go to school wit bags from being up all night.
I can't walk around pregnant in this town where all we do is fight.
I can't think of one reason I should take responsibility.
I can mask the hurt of destroying life that onced lived within me.
I can wait until they leave to wipe this smile off my face.
Wait until Im alone to cry in my own space.
Im fourteen...Im only 14!

Hatshepsut Amun Re

Returned

I am the daughter of the Waters
Born from the pitch black with a veil to hide my secrets
I came back after my death in the flames
It was the fire that rebirthed me
Summoned me back here,
in the belly of the beast.
They call me High Priestess
The ones that hide between the winds
They told me that I was consumed in the fire and reborn
To avenge, to inspire, to create and be God
They call me the High Priestess
The ones who tip toe in the night
Who’s reflections go undetected in the mirrors on the walls
They gave me a gift when I emerged from the dark waters
Placed it into my hands, right here where no one can take it
Or see it
I am the daughter of the Waters
She gave me her eyes
cried waves of tears when I died in the flames washed clean
I made a covenant with the ones who hush the babies to sleep
the ones who guide us passed the danger and keep our hearts beating...
I am the child of the ancient ones; returned.
Descending from magicians
sorcerers
and medicine men
who stomp feet on hot grounds
and drain blood from sliced necks...
I have returned, they call me High Priestess

Hateshepsut Amun Re