Unexplainable

I can't find the words to explain
to describe
or provide
an explanation
a justification
I can't.
But baby you do something to me
so sweet
so sour
got me wanting to devour you whole
got me lusting your soul
like a bitter taste
on the back of my tongue
but I keep sipping from this vial
this thing's so foul
but the stench ain't vile, it's subtle
an energy or a feeling
so magnetic
like polar opposites
attracted
got me all distracted
and in fact
I'm infatuated
can't leave him alone
it's unexplainable
in love with a man who has a home
with a bed
laced with sheets
that don't carry my smell
don't carry my aura
they say I'm going to Hell
but if there was such a place
my soul would eternally reside
would the flames burn the desire
for what he provides?
would the craving subside?
Can't find the words to explain it
unintentional, unconventional
so reluctant to abstain from it
They say that I'm wrong
but it feels so right
though he lays with another
when he closes his eyes at night.
I try to justify it
convinced my mind to push back
these feelings knowing their unsustainable
adulterous lies I condone
and it's so unexplainable.
The touch
the feel
the connection's so strong
so how can they convince me
that what I'm doing is wrong
that what I've done ain't right
I've indulged for the wrong reasons
the deceit, the treason
nights alone
body's freezing.
It's unexplainable
can't find the words to describe
or provide
and explanation
a justification
I can't....

Hatshepsut Amun Re